Have you realized that your man is consorting with another woman on the side? Do you worry that he may choose her over you?
If you have been in this sticky situation, I understand why you may feel helpless, panicky, or even worried.
Two is a company; three is a crowd. When there is another girl in the equation, it defies monogamy’s very sanctity as we know it.
Nowadays, in relationships, you are expected to be monogamous and holy even. The phenomenon that a man gets caught up between choosing one woman over another is immoral by our monogamous society norms, albeit being universally practiced.
“How can I make him choose me over her?” you may ask.
- Do I have it takes to make him choose me?
- Why does a man choose one woman over the other?
- How can I know that he will choose?
- What if he already is with someone else?
And so on, on and on and on. I know the queries in your heart are endless. But worry not, I have all the answers.
How to make him choose me over another girl
Irrespective of how stiff the competition is, it is possible to influence your love interest to choose you.
Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to be the prettier or hotter one of the two of you. Looks are essential, but at the end of the day, other qualities matter more.
Qualities that will make a guy want to choose you over another girl.
Men don’t randomly choose the women with whom they end up. It is systemic, and having certain qualities will give a better fighting advantage that the other lady.
Here is a list of attributes that will make any man want to choose you over another.
- Authenticity and uniqueness
Strategies to make a man choose you over another woman.
For a man to choose you over another woman, he has to have seen something valuable in you that the other woman doesn’t have—this uniqueness is what sets you apart from the rest.
Below is a list of strategies that will help you be irresistible to any man. With them, you can rest assured that he will choose you, on any day at any time, because he knows how rare it is to find a woman who embodies them all.
1. Build a connection.
Men do want more than sex from any relationship. While it’s true that sex is essential, an emotional and intellectual connection would strengthen the bond even more.
Connect with the man at every level possible, and you will have them eating off your palm. When the two of you connect this sincerely, he feels understood and known. Something that we all yearn to have.
2. Don’t be a pushover; be a challenge.
Men are hunters; they like the thrill of the chase. Play hard to get now and then. I don’t mean that you should be outright difficult but playful tease him here and there.
You will have that man trapped in no time.
3. Use your femininity and charm.
In the realm of attraction, opposites attract. To get the man hooked, use your femininity as a weapon. Femininity calls unto masculinity.
By being feminine, you arouse his primal masculine instincts to protect and possess you. That is what makes him choose you.
4. Be mysterious.
Men love to be challenged. When he can’t figure you out, you intrigue him.
Be elusive, not secretive about specific details of your life. Purposely hoard pieces of information from him.
He will keep obsessing about what you are not telling him. Let’s face it, the more he thinks about you, the easier it will be to fall in love with you.
5. Get the man webbed into a triangle.
It would help if you were extra careful with this because if he finds out your motive, he will resent you. So it would be best if you were subtle about this.
When a man realizes that another guy could take you away from him, he panics and switches to possessive mode.
The envy he feels may even trick him into thinking that he is in love with you. If he thinks he loves you, he will choose you.
6. Be a great lover
I know we said that sex isn’t something he would base on to choose; however, we all know that being good in bed will influence him to look your way.
7. Make the guy feel like the king he is around you.
Eventually, a man will choose the woman he ends up based on how she makes him feel. That is the defining factor.
By making him feel king, I don’t mean that you should suck up to him or act like he is the best thing that happened to you, but rather be candid and open about your suggestions.
It helps if you genuinely adore him.
8. Be easy-going, childish even.
In the era and age, people are so uptight and stiff. As we grow, we lose our sense of wonder and blithe.
When you portray the chilled and childish nature, you stand out. In a world of black and grays, you become the rainbow.
Tell me how any man would leave all that awesomeness.
9. Be flirtatious with your love interest.
By flirting with a man, you communicate your interest to him; you also keep the sexual tension thick.
With the above tips, you will have any man exactly where you want them.
Have you ever fallen for a man
Have you ever fallen for a man only to find out later that he belongs to someone else?
It is tough to bury your feelings and pretend to have never liked him simply because he is unavailable.
Fair enough, you don’t have to. With the tips below, you will have the man you desire despite being already involved with someone else.
Tips to steal someone’s boyfriend
1. Connect with the guy deeply. See him. Know him.
Men want to be loved. Contrary to popular belief, he wants to relate deeply at every level possible.
So don’t be afraid to enter his emotional and mental space.
2. Pretend the girlfriend doesn’t exist.
I don’t mean that you should ignore her existence, but don’t let it get to you.
Focus your energy on the man. Ignore the girlfriend. It is the man you are targeting, not the girl, so focus your time where you want results.
3. Don’t criticize the guy’s girlfriend. Please don’t talk about her.
While he can vent all night about how terrible his girlfriend is to you, you, on the other hand, can’t criticize the girl.
If you must say anything about her, you should respectfully express it.
4. Keep communication with the man flowing.
Out of sight is out of mind. I am not asking you to blow the man’s phone, but keep the texts and call coming now and then.
Whenever you are communicating with him, you are occupying his mind. That’s precisely your goal. To occupy his mind long enough until he can’t live without you.
5. Create sexual tension between you and the man.
Charge the air around the two of you stares and smiles that feel like they communicate more than just a glance and smile.
Sexual tension to him means that the two have chemistry. We all know that men like to keep the girls with whom they have chemistry close.
6. Display high compatibility.
It is a no brainer that we time people who have a lot in common more than those who don’t share our likes.
If he is into poetry, it helps if you enjoy the recitals. Even if you have fake it, fake it until you make it, honey.
There is no shortcut here, and I know it doesn’t sound right, but you don’t display high compatibility with man; he won’t look at you twice. He has a girlfriend, remember!
7. Please don’t ask the guy to leave his girlfriend.
Obviously, that’s the goal, but you don’t mention it or even insinuate it. The man won’t leave his girlfriend for you unless he thinks it is his idea.
Don’t push him to leave. You can only sit there and be pretty and trust the process. It isn’t much you can do unless you want to risk coming off as needy, even pushy.
8. Look ravishing, always.
Men are visual. I know you have heard that like a million times before. But seriously, to get and keep his attention, you must look impeccable, sexy even.
You need this man to idolize you and worship you. If you don’t look the part, how will he ever notice the goddess that you are?
To steal someone’s boyfriend is a tall order, and you must have thick skin. It would be best if you were willing to be ten times better than his girlfriend, even to stand a chance. I don’t mean
Reasons why a man would choose you over another woman
Men choose women based on how he feels when he is a woman. If a woman makes him feel king, validated, respected, appreciated, generally speaking, when she makes him feel good, he gravitates more towards her.
Here are the reasons why the average man would choose one woman over another.
1. The man likes the way you make him feel.
I am not referring to the orgasms (which have to be mind-blowing), but more of the feeling he has when you’re around.
Maybe you reassure and validate, or you have a way of massaging his ego.
Whatever the case may be, if he likes how you feel more than the other woman, he will choose you.
2. You are all that and more; the other woman isn’t.
You are funny and gorgeous and beautiful, spicy and everything twice, and the other girl is just a girl.
3. The guy is in love with you.
Sometimes he chooses because cupid’s arrow got him. He is in love with you. Splendid, isn’t it?
4. You intrigue the man.
He can’t seem to put his finger around you. There is something about that X-factor.
5. You understand the guy.
Men rarely find women who stop to get to know them. Seldomly do men feel understood.
When he finds a girl like you who takes the time and effort to know and understand him, he knows that you are a gem. There is no way he can let you go.
6. You are wife material.
All men want to end up with a homely woman.
To know the real reasons why a man would pick one woman over the other, you have to ask him. Most often than not, it’s one or all the above.
Signs that he may leave his girlfriend/wife for you.
You may be wondering whether your love interest could ever dare to leave his girlfriend for you. You needn’t wonder no more because here is a list of dependable signs that he might leave her for you.
1. Your taken boyfriend is genuinely interested in you (it’s not only about the sex)
When a man is genuinely interested in you even though the two have had sex, then that is something. Many men feign interest to get into your pants, but there’s more if he is still interested.
He might be in love. Love will make it harder for him to stay with the other girl.
2. There is trouble in paradise (with his relationship)
When his relationship is hitting the rocks, he is more likely to leave his current partner for you.
3. The man shows you off, even in public.
Naturally, when you are consorting with a man already committed elsewhere, he prefers to keep you a secret.
If he shows you off in public, he may be serious about you, which is a good sign because we want him to leave her for you.
4. The man talks about a future that includes you, which also doesn’t involve her.
If his future has you and not his current partner in it, you just won the man.
5. Your taken boyfriend puts you first.
Usually, men put their partners first, but you have him if he is giving you the priority.
Early signs that he will not leave his girlfriend/ wife for you.
Are you entangled with a married/taken man? I am no soothsayer nor augur, but it is possible to know for sure whether the man you are involved with will leave his wife.
Time is precious, and you may want to know whether it is worth investing in any emotions ahead of time. Here is a list of signs earlier on in the relationship that he will never leave her for you.
Four signs that he will never leave her for you.
1. The man hasn’t mentioned leaving his girlfriend.
2. You always come second, after the main chick.
3. The man makes it clear that you are his booty call, period.
4. The man only communicates with you late at night.
Why won’t he leave his girlfriend/wife for you even when he loves you?
He loves you, and you love him. It’s all like a perfect fairytale, except he won’t leave his wife/girlfriend. Why?
Six reasons why he won’t leave her even when he loves you
1. Breakups are messy.
2. The man has it all already.
3. There are children in the picture.
4. The man likes his life the way it is.
5. The man is financially dependent on his partner.
6. The guy stands to lose a lot if he leaves his partner.
How to win him over the other woman (step by step guide)
When you are competing with another woman for a man, you may feel inadequate when comparing yourself to your competitor(s).
You do not have to feel that way any longer. Follow the steps below to out compete any woman and make him choose you even if she is the wife.
Step 1. Prepare yourself mentally, physically, and even financially.
You need to be the best frame of mind. Turn on the inner lioness and prepare yourself for battle. To win a man over the other woman, you have to go to war literally.
Step 2. Make contact; this where you meet the man/or remeet.
You only get once chance to make a first impression, so by God; you better impress him with this opportunity.
Step 3. Build a friendship.
Let him know you and how amazing you are. It is easy to trap him later when you have a background of friendship.
Step 4. Be friendly to both of them; appear pleasant and harmless.
I know you don’t like the other woman, but being bitchy to her will not help your image from his point of view.
Be cordial and pleasant, and he will respect you for that.
Step 5. Let him know how you feel.
Now that you have both his friendship and respect hint on your feelings for him. You don’t have to be so bold about it, but somehow, let him know how you feel.
Step 6. Don’t smother him. Give him time to process your proclamation.
Now, you step back. Let the man know, though, that he can take his time. Just give him space.
Step 7. Wait for his response, but expect the worst.
I know this is the worst step because you have no control whatsoever on what happens. But hang in there. That’s a reasonable thing to do.
Step 8. Relax, trust the process.
Please sit back; you have done all you can, the ball is in his court.
It helps when you are calm throughout the process because men rarely see that. Keep your calm and watch him come to you.
Strategies to give an edge so that you can win him over the other woman.
1. Don’t compare yourself to the other woman.
2. Get in shape.
3. Dress flatteringly. All the time.
4. Smell good. A good scent is an underplayed aphrodisiac; use it to your advantage.
5. Keep an air of mystery around you.
6. Fake disinterest.
Is it wrong to steal someone’s boyfriend?
By society standards, yes. We consider it immoral to steal someone else’s boyfriend.
Whether or not you should steal the boyfriend, that’s a whole different story. I have heard excuses like “the girlfriend didn’t value him enough” or “He wasn’t happy with her anyway.”
However, something to consider is that when you steal someone’s partner, another person will likely to poach him away from you too.
How can I make him forget about another woman?
You may think that to make him forget another woman, you must be perfect. How wrong you are! You are not expected by anyone to be perfect.
The truth of the matter is that he may not even remember the woman necessarily, only how she made him feel. If you can make him feel the way she made him (if not better), he will have no use for her.
How do I win a man’s love when there is some competition?
Take the high road, be funnier, more understanding, generally a better match than the other girl.
I hope you never shy away from any man just because he is engaged elsewhere.
Mama Nkima is a marriage counselor and relationship expert who has dedicated her life to helping couples build strong, healthy relationships. She has academic degrees in Education and Psychology. She has over 40 years of experience helping couples and individuals work through their relationship issues.
She draws on her own experiences as a spiritual guide but also from years of research to offer readers practical, actionable advice.