Table of Contents
Can a married guy have a crush on me?
- Why would a married guy have a crush on me?
- Is that guy from work crushing on you?
- How do you know if a married man is crushing on you?
- What do you do when a married guy has a crush on you?
“He is only married, not dead. Cut him some slack if he likes you.”
Regardless of the ring on his finger, a married man is still a guy like any other and is not immune to crushing on that new hot secretary.
I know crushes sound like a high school thing, but in reality, adult crushes happen more often than you would imagine.
Crushes are normal, and they happen all the time. It’s inevitable for a man to crush on or be attracted to people outside his marriage, even when he loves his partner and has no desire to cheat on her.
Can a Married Man Have a Crush on you?
A married man can have a crush on you even when he is in a happy marriage. Crushes are no respecter of marital status.
Crushes feel so damn good and, if not checked, could be damaging to a marriage. You feel good when you have a crush because of the intense chemicals at play as you experience an attraction.
Serotonin, adrenaline, and dopamine are the hormones to blame for the resultant feeling of obsession and idealization of a new partner.
Why do Married Men Have Crushes?
Married men develop crushes for the same reasons as the rest of the other single men. As mentioned above, a married man is still a man.
Suppose he has been interacting with an attractive or interesting person with whom he feels connected. In that case, he might crush on that person.
Having a crush doesn’t necessarily mean that a man’s marriage is failing. Neither does it mean his wife is lacking in any way.
It is unrealistic to expect a single partner to fulfill every single one of a man’s needs, so it’s common for a guy to do other sources of excitement and fulfillment outside the marriage. The crush provides just that.
A married man may have a crush on just because it is human nature. It’s not like that there is a special reason a married man may crush on you.
When a Married Man Has a Crush on you
Psychologists believe that a man’s attraction can reveal potential weaknesses in his current relationship. The dynamic of what he has with you shows what he is lacking in his marriage.
For instance, if he is attracted to the fact that you give him attention or romance, it may indicate what his relationship is lacking. Remember, you crave what you don’t have.
On the other hand, a crush on you may just be a harmless and baseless occurrence with no emotional attachment to the married man’s marriage.
A married guy crushing on you may mean that you are the embodiment of his sexual fantasy, and this too has nothing to do with his marriage.
When a married man has a crush on, you begin to question whether there is something that you are doing that is encouraging this behavior from him.
This is baseless because crushes happen all the time, and they have absolutely nothing to do with the object of a crush.
How do you know that a married man has a crush on you? What are the signs that prove that a married man is crushing on you?
Signs a Married Man Has a Crush on you.
Married Men are subtle about extramarital attractions. If a married man is crushing on you, the chances are that he will want to hide this from his wife and anyone else who is aware that he is married.
A married guy will not be vivid and expressive because he is crushing on you but rather secretive. I understand why you may have difficulty ascertaining whether or not my man has a crush on you.
Don’t bother your pretty mind anymore because I have listed below are proven signs when a married man has a crush on you.
1. He pays you compliments frequently.
When a man compliments you, it is most probably because he likes what he sees. A guy who has a crush on you will like something about you, maybe it will be your hair or clothes. They always find something nice about you.
A married man who has a crush on you will notice when you change your hair or do your nails, even small things like your perfume, he will notice. This is because a guy who has a crush on a girl notices everything about her.
It is imperative to note that his compliments are sincere when a guy has a crush on you. He will not flatter you, but you realize that he genuinely thinks you are the bomb.
2. The married man finds excuses to talk to you
A married man who has a crush on you will not lose the opportunity to talk to you. Sometimes it might even look like it’s trying too hard like when he starts asking obvious things.
Maybe you work in the same place as the married man, he may often come to your desk and ask obvious things like;
- Are you filing the tax return?
- When will the returns be ready?
The thing is what he is asking doesn’t even matter. He probably already knows the answer. The thing is that he isn’t asking to get an answer, just asking to talk to you.
If you feel like at any chance a married man gets he’s making contact and trying to communicate with you, that is a sign that he’s crushing on you.
3. He makes physical contact.
If a married man is initiating physical contact, he is going to be very subtle about it. He may brush against your arm or get an excuse to tap your back.
The thing is that he Is always trying to touch you. When a married guy has a crush on you, you just can’t get enough of your skin. Don’t be shocked when he keeps trying to make physical contact.
If the man is very bold and expressive, he may not be modest about his advances and may go out of his way to make contact and be close to you. Some guys could even rub their body against yours, whisper sweet nothings in your ear, or even blatantly kiss you.
The bottom line is that when a married guy wants to touch your body, that is a sign that he has a crush on you. He just won’t keep his hands to himself when he has a crush on you.
4. The married man becomes curious about your private life.
The only reason a man would be interested in your private life and dating life is that he is attracted to you, period. No, he is just being nice, and no, he is not just curious. He just wants to know whether you’re available, that’s all.
Next time a married man asks about your weekend or who the cute guy on your Instagram story is, then lady, he is crushing so hard.
5. His eye contact says it all.
Eyes are the windows to the soul. You can tell so much from the way a guy looks at you.
- Is his gaze so intense?
- Does he smile when you catch him staring
- Do you feel like his eyes are on you the whole time?
- Do you feel like he is undressing you with his eyes?
If you are answered yes to the majority of the questions above. That married guy is crushing on you hard.
6. His body language tells you that he has a crush on you.
The good thing with body language is that you can always trust what the body says. A man’s lips might lie to you, but his body can’t.
The most common giveaways from his body contact if he is crushing when you include;
- His posture is open (His shoulders are relaxed, and his arms are not crossed). When he’s talking to you, this shows that he’s interested in it.
- He plays with his necktie as if he can’t breathe when you’re around. That’s because you take his breath away.
- He stands too close to you, almost like he wants to fuse right into you. That’s a good sign.
- He leans in when he talks to you in a noisy place in a place where he may not hear well that may not mean anything. But if he can hear you well and he still leans in towards you, that’s a sign, that’s a sign that he’s interested.
There you have it, if the married man does some or most of the above, the chances are that he’s hot for you.
7. The married man buys you gifts.
If a married man buys a gift, it’s a friendly gesture. It may also mean that he wants to make you happy.
But more important than giving you a gift, what you should be looking for is the gift itself. The kind of gift today man gives you tells you the motive behind the gift that is what you’re interested in.
Suppose he buys you flowers, chocolate, or any other Valentine’s themed gift. In that case, it might mean that he thinks of you romantically. If the gifts are a little bit sexual, it could mean that he thinks about you sexually. Whatever the gift, is it is symbolic of what he feels for you.
Don’t focus on the fact that he has given you a gift but rather focus on the gift itself.
8. He may blatantly flirt with you.
You need to be careful with this because married men flirt for different reasons.
- A married man flirting may just be having fun
- He may enjoy being attractive in your eyes to get a boost to his self-esteem in the process.
- He may also be simply seeking to manipulate the relationship toward a non-sexual goal.
- A married man might flirt because he is interested in you.
If the married guy flirting with you is shows the other signs mentioned here, he is most definitely having a crush on you. You can’t base on the fact that the married man is flirting with you to conclude that it is crushing on you. You need other signs too.
9. His feet
They say when a guy even a married one has a crush on a woman, he’s feet always point towards her. This is because in his subconscious mind, if he is crushing on you if no societal rules or things were holding him back like his marriage, he would run to you.
Even if he’s across the room, I’m busy having conversations with other people, his feet will betray him. When in doubt about the intentions of a married man, look at his feet.
10. He is cold to you
This may sound counterintuitive, but when a married guy has a crush on another woman other than his wife, he may not want to be flamboyant or tell anyone about it. Being cold to you is the perfect way this guy can hide his feelings for you.
Do you remember in high school when a guy was mean to you because he likes you? That’s what’s happening now, the married man likes you, but he has to disguise it.
11.You make him nervous
If you notice that a man’s palms are sweating or that he is a little bit fidgety when he is around you, it shows that he can’t control himself around you.
That is a crystal clear sign that he’s crushing on.
How do you tell if a married man is attracted to you?
Do you think that there is a married guy has a crush on you? How do you know for sure that he is attracted, and you are not misreading the signs?
When a man is attracted to you, it means that he feels a magnetic pull from you towards him. The attraction is a very difficult thing to gauge because different people react to and express attraction differently.
However, if you know what to look for, a man’s attraction for you shouldn’t be difficult to sniff out. I have put together a list of sure signs that a married man is indeed attracted to you.
Tell-tale signs that a married man is attracted to you
A married man is going to have a crush on you because he’s attracted to you. Here are a few sure signs that a married man is attracted to you.
1. His body language
A guy May lie to you with his tongue, but his body never does. You can trust 100% what his body is telling you the truth.
If he finds excuses to touch you and wants to be close to you by standing like only an inch away, you can be sure that man is attracted to you.
2. He offers to help
When a man is attracted to you, his major goal is to please you. It always finds every way possible that he can be helpful to you to get you to like him back.
If he notices that you’re carrying heavy things and you don’t even have to ask him before he offers to help or if he is opening doors and pulling chairs for you, you can be sure that the man is attracted to you.
Have you ever entered a room and felt like a married man’s eyes won’t leave your body? I don’t know if it is the Sixth Sense, but you can tell when someone is looking at you.
If you can feel a married man’s gaze on you, and I don’t mean on your face. If he is staring at your attractive features, then you know for sure that he’s attracted to you
4.He never likes your boyfriends
Suppose you have been friends with this married man for long, and he doesn’t like any of your boyfriends, or none of your boyfriends is perfect for him. In that case, the chances are that he never likes any of your guy friends because he wants you to like him.
This sign is very subtle, and you may not notice, but you need to look at the pattern. If the married man goes cold or starts ignoring you when your boyfriend is around, then it is a sign that he might want to be more than friends with you.
5. The married man is mean to you.
When a married guy teases you or is mean to you, we all know that is because he has a crush on you. If it feels like he is getting out of his way to be outright rude or even only to you. He is trying to disguise his true feelings for you.
On the other hand, if this man is rude to you, he might not be that into you, after all, so believe him.
You can only be sure his meanness is just an act if the married man shows all the other signs he is attracted to.
6. His voice deepens when he talks to you.
Scientists have found out that women are more attracted to deeper voices in men and high-pitched voices. If the man’s voice deepens when he’s talking to you, that’s a sign, that’s a clear sign he’s attracted to you.
Because his voice deepening is subconscious and he has no control over it, it is a sign you can trust. Subconscious signs can be trusted because they show you exactly what the man feels.
How do you know if a married man is attracted to you sexually?
A man may be attracted to you on different levels and in different ways. He is attracted to you in any of the ways listed below;
- Love affair
- Financial wealth
- Social strategy
The levels above the different levels a man may be attracted to you. Today the main focus is on sexual attraction.
When a guy is sexually attracted to you, it means that he feels a surge of sexual energy from you and most definitely wants to sleep with you. Just because a man is sexually attracted to you doesn’t mean that he will sleep with you. It could all end at the attraction.
Signs that a married man is sexually attracted to you.
1. He will ask you to do things with him that don’t include leaving the house.
If you’re going to do things with your man for which you have to stay in, he has a higher chance of sleeping with you if you are in the house.
I know that you can have sex anywhere. Still, if a guy who is attracted to you prefers to stay in with you, you can be sure, but he’s not just attracted to you, but he’s sexually attracted to you.
2. He checks you out
Married men are no different from ordinary guys. The normal guy is attracted to a woman she will check out. If you catch this man staring at your ass or boobs, you know that he is most certainly, sexually attracted to you.
3. He licks his lips
Some men creepily lick their lips now; that’s not what I mean. You know that a married guy is sexually attracted to you when he licks or unintentionally pats his lips.
You are looking for a man who is subconsciously licking his lips because he can’t stand how hot you look. Not the one who is creepily licking his lips for whatever creepy motive that he has.
4. He stands too close.
When a married man is attracted to you, she wants to be your space. If you’re very sensitive, you might even feel the hormones boiling in his body.
A man who wants to be too close to you might as well prefer the right into you if you get my drift.
5. He never misses an opportunity to touch you.
I feel like touching the universal language of the guys who are sexually attracted to women. It doesn’t matter what the occasion is. This man will find a reason, however small, to touch you.
Suppose this sounds like something that you are experiencing. In that case, you can be sure that the married man you’re dealing with not only has a crush on you, but he’s sexually attracted to you.
What to do when you have a crush on a married guy
What you do when you like a married guy depends on whether you like him back and would like to pursue anything with him.
If you like him, begin by flirting with him and see how to goes. Even if you are sure that a man is attracted, you are better off starting by flirting with him before making your feelings known.You could also check on my How to make a man fall in love with you if you are desperately in love with him.
Depending on his response after you flirt with him, you can go on to pursue a thing with the married man or bury your feelings and move on as nothing happened.
On the other hand,, if you do not like him, the only thing you can do is make it abundantly clear that you are interested in anything. If he persists, threaten him that you will tell his wife. That should usually do the trick.
Married Man Compliments me.
There is nothing wrong with a married man complimenting you. After all, it is only to give credit where it is due.
Problems arise when the married man’s focus of the compliment shift from the content of your achievements to your features.
It is okay if a married man tells you that:
- Nice dress
- That’s a good pair of shoes
- That’s a beautiful car
- You did a good job there.
However, if he says any of the following or something similar, then it is no longer innocent:
- You have nice legs
- You’re so hot
- That’s a sexy pair of eyes
The point is that he’s a married man when the focus of the compliment shifts from items and your achievements to who you are and your body, then there it is no longer innocent.
If you have no interest in pursuing a married man, this is when you make it abundantly clear to him.
Do married people get secret crushes, and if so, how do they handle that intense crush?
Yes, married people get secret crushes. Married people are only wedded, not dead; therefore, they are bound to have crushes in other people.
A married person is either sworn to or at least expected to practice monogamy, so married people tend to deal with crushes as neatly as possible.
When a married person has an intense, the norm is to let the spouse in on it. This is because sometimes, having a crush is indicative of what is missing in the marriage. This way, the couple uses it to fix the issue the crush has pointed to
Also, it easier for married people to deal with diffusing the crush when they are both in the know because crushes are alluring when left a secret, but once the other partner knows about it, the crush loses the elusiveness and may even be forgotten.
Some marriage therapists strongly suggest introducing your crush to your spouse because a crush is normally fictitious and mysterious while your partner is real.
By introducing your crush to your partner, you merged the two worlds, the fictitious and mysterious, with the real, which may make the crush lose its power.
Would a married man with a crush on me act very cold to disguise true feelings?
Sometimes, a married man will act and distant to compensate for the terrible fondness he feels for you. A man will often display such aloofness when you and he are around his family because he doesn’t want anyone suspecting that he has a crush on you.
But on the flip side, a married man may act cold to you because he thinks you have misconstrued his kindness as an attraction. Men normally put distance and even ignore women who think that men like them when they don’t.
The only way to know for sure which of the two scenarios is to look out for other signs. What is the general vibe you are getting from the married man? Is it cordial or hostile?My 20 signs a married man cares for you has more info on that.
Can old married men have crushes?
Yes, it is normal for an old married man to have crushes. This is because having a crush has nothing to do with the fact that the man is old nor married.
If he is around a woman he finds attractive and feels a connection, the old married man may have a crush on the woman. It is totally okay and happens in RL.
What should a married man do if he has a huge crush on someone in the office?
Having a crush on someone in the office is not uncommon. With the nine to five society we live in, people spend most of their time in the office.
It is also worth noting that you get to see your colleagues’ best version of smartness and even friendliness in the workplace.
In such a situation, you are bound to get crushes on your colleague. No wonder 50% of affairs today start in the office.
It is only natural for a married man to have a crush on an attractive woman. The important thing is what the married man goes on to do after crushing.
Will he go on to pursue anything post the crush, or will he fight for his marriage? That is the most crucial part.
Mama Nkima is a marriage counselor and relationship expert who has dedicated her life to helping couples build strong, healthy relationships. She has academic degrees in Education and Psychology. She has over 40 years of experience helping couples and individuals work through their relationship issues.
She draws on her own experiences as a spiritual guide but also from years of research to offer readers practical, actionable advice.