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Why he can’t leave his wife for you. the harsh truth

Why he can’t leave his wife for you. the harsh truth

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The reason why he can’t leave his wife for you is he is not looking for something serious.He has it at home already.Instead, he is looking for someone he can be silly with.

Ever since I wrote a post about the ‘signs that he will leave his wife‘ which is a couple of weeks back, I have got many questions, ‘When is he going to leave her?’ Why does he claim he loves me when he won’t leave his wife?Why hasn’t he left her yet? , flooding in via my inbox.

Unfortunately, haven’t yet received any notices saying – ‘I Was the Other Woman — But Now I’m the Wife.’

Before we continue, to why he can’t leave his wife for you, If you are tired of waiting and you want to make him leave his wife for you as soon as yesterday?what you need is click here no wasting time.

Instead, the feeds I get, are from people with heart breaks that come from being the third party in a relationship.

People who are left in tears with first-hand lesson that men naturally never choose their mistresses over their wives. Because there are doubtless many women still in this situation trying to figure out ‘why’

In today’s article, I’ve put together a list of the eight most common reasons why he can’t leave his wife for you (mistress).

1.He does not love you

The most obvious reason why he can’t leave his wife for you is, He does not love you.I don’t mean he does not care for you.He cares for you and also enjoys your company.

But if he loved you and was in a loving relationship with you, he would be willing to leave everything behind to be with you even if that means his entire family.

Divorce has one of the most difficult effects on any individual’s life.It affects everyone involved.If a man loves you, he won’t care about the unpleasant consequences of divorce.He would pack up and leave without questions.

A man who is truly in love with a woman will do anything to be with her, including leaving his spouse.

So the fact that he is not willing to leave his wife for you simply means that he does not love you as much as you love him.

2.The Comfort of getting what he wants

Another reason he cant leave his wife for you is he gets what he wants from both relationships without commitment to your side.

Think about it, if one of the reasons married men leave their wives is trying to fill a void that is missing in their marriage relationship.If you provide the missing void before he breaks his marriage contract.You solve his missing puzzle.You give him what he wants before he faces his fears of divorce?

If he feared to loose custody of his children but lucked emotional bond, if you give him emotional bond, it means now he has both what he want.He has the missing emotional bond.on the other hand he get to stay with his children.

Don’t you see it, why bother get into mixed up unhealthy relationships leaving his wife for you when he has it both.He gets the care from your side.

Ever heard of the common saying “why buy a cow when you can get the milk when you want it” He gets what he wants: two relationships and no responsibility to hold to any commitments.

He is already receiving “the other woman benefits” (whether that be sex, physical and emotional intimacy affection or anything else) and still go back to his wife.

For him to leave his wife is pointless.

Make His Actions Match His Promises
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Society wants you to put want they want first, When is it time to put what you want first?
In no way it works to his advantage.He doesn’t share your sense of urgency and desperation.

You are his spare Tyre and he is so comfortable with letting you play as his second fiddle despite your insistence that he make a clean break and be with you

Read: Why a man having an affair won’t leave his wife?

3.Fear of divorce

The third reason why he cant leave his wife for you is he is scared of the consequences of divorce.

In my healing practice, I work with a variety of people: men and women, those ranging from the mid-20s to early 60s, and interesting people from different walks of life, from a small-town Man to a career woman in a big city.

While my clients approach me with a variety of challenges, one particular challenge that falls in my inbox always is a man wants to leave his wife but he is afraid of divorce.

He is afraid of what happened to his children after the divorce since his wife often use the “I’ll take the kids with me and you’ll never see them again” card during arguments.

Too often men are scared of the legal system because they have watched/heard a lot of stories of being “taken to the cleaners” in divorce court.

There are responsibilities to think about.It’s money, security, feelings, children, reputation—everything that has been built up together with the other partner has to break down.

Because of the fear for divorce proceedings men are stuck with their toxic wives in some times abusive relationships because their only alternative is a divorce that promises financial ruin and part-time fatherhood.

4.The “good guy” effect – He is scared of losing public respect

Another reason he can’t leave his wife for you is his feet are tied up and he is likely to keep them that way as long as he can eat out once in a while.He is scared to be the bad guy.

In my personal experience practicing marriage counseling, the worst kind of breakup to any non toxic person is when they clearly know that it was their fault to breakup.

A breakup where you can’t claim that you were the trusting partner who was acting in a good faith but got hurt by someone else.A break up where you are responsible for, not the guilty one, not the victim but the perpetrator.Is a horror dream to most cheating husbands.

Therefore, however much this guy may want to leave, he is scared to be the bad seed.He is scared of losing respect for his kids, family and friends.

He is scared of giving up his shared social life and mutual friends who may be forced to take sides.His feet are tied up and he is likely to keep them that way as long as he can eat out once in a while.

5.Fear of another man fathering his children

Another reason he can’t leave his wife for you is he can’t bear the thought of him seeing another man coming into his children’s lives after separation.

The thought of another man fathering his children is unbearable, to begin with.He is troubled with the idea of another man-step father in competition with him for the love of children.

He is troubled with another man with no connection at all with his kids other than marrying their mother coming in and disrupt the little delicate balances that often exists in a separated family.

6.Why he can’t leave his wife for you – He can’t make you his wife

Men may seem dumb, but they are smart when they want to be.They know which woman to bring home to family, which women to show off to their friends, which women to take for parties and the one to bring home after late-night bars.

Your partner probably doesn’t win you the traits for his potential wife.He can’t see you as a woman he would put home to be his wife.So, not until he finds someone who is worth it, he won’t leave his wife.

7.He honors his vows

He can’t leave his wife for you because he is still attached to the vows he made with his wife at the time of their union.

Though he cheats on his wife as many men do, he is the kind who takes his marriage seriously and is committed to spending the rest of his life with her.

He is finding it hard to snap those bonds and throw those promises to the dust bin.There is something positive about his character which is ‘honoring his vows’.

After all, would you really be OK with taking a chance with a man who doesn’t respect commitments?

Make His Actions Match His Promises
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Society wants you to put want they want first, When is it time to put what you want first?
Wouldn’t you be worried that he might one day repeat the pattern by breaking his commitment to you?Past performance is generally the best predictor of future behavior.

8.He isn’t truly in love with you

This is the other reason why he can’t leave his wife for you and it is probably the hardest pill to swallow.

In my opinion, it is the major reason for his lack of commitment to only you.He just enjoys the benefits that he gets from you.

He may care for you but doesn’t mean that he is in love with you.There isn’t a true connection, but you what provide is enough to keep him around.It just may not be enough to leave his wife who was there for him for years.

9.You are Just for Fun

Most cheating men when caught or confronted usually justify their behavior with statements like.

  • “just because someone is married does not mean that they can’t have someone aside too”,
  • ‘I’m not doing anything that most of my buddies don’t do”.

If you don’t believe me, ask them’.This really hurts to hear but even in a happy marriage.It is possible for men to have a roving eye or even crave affection from another lady.

For a lot of men, an affair is not about the person or even the sex.It’s about the thrill – of the chase, of the secrecy and yes, even the deceit.

He is enjoying the naughtiness that is lacking from his honest relationship with his wife.He is not looking for something serious – he has it at home already.Instead, he is looking for someone he can be silly with.

Now that we have seen some of the reasons why he can’t leave his wife for you.Let digest some of the questions around the topic.

Why a man having an affair won’t leave his wife?

There are a number of reasons why a man having an affair won’t leave his wife, even if he is unhappy in the marriage and not leading a healthy relationship.

One of the reason is, he is worried about what divorce would mean for his children, or he may still have feelings for his wife.

Additionally, some men may simply be unwilling to end a relationship that they have invested so much time and energy into, regardless of the infidelity its just an emotional affair.

It does not mean, however, that a man who has cheated will never leave his wife.In some cases, the affair may be a sign that the marriage is truly over and that it is time for both parties to move on.

Will he leave his wife statistics?

Statistics show that only 5% of married men leave their wives for the other woman.If he left his wife for you, statistics that your marriage will last and not pretty, marriages that began due to infidelity have a 75 to 90% chance of ending divorce again.

The odds are not in your favor, which supports the adage that married men never leave their wives, but even if they do, he won’t be a pretty life for her. 

However, there are some success stories of ex-mistresses who are now the wife, and the marriage is doing well. 

Rumor has it that Gwen Stefani was Blake Shelton’s girlfriend while he was still with Miranda Lambert, and guess what not the wife is. 

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Gabrielle Union and Dwayne, Hailey and Justin Bieber, and so on, there are so many examples of lovers who are now the wives.

Will a married man ever leave his wife for another woman?

A married man might leave his wife for another woman, but it’s not always because he’s necessarily unhappy in his current relationship.

Sometimes a married man will have an affair with another woman because he’s bored or unsatisfied with his current marriage and is looking for something new and exciting.

Other times, a married man might leave his wife for another woman because he’s not happy with the way things are going in their relationship and wants to find someone who can make him happier.

In general, most married men will not leave their wives for another woman.

This is because many married men have invested a lot of time and effort into building their marriages and may not want to risk losing everything they have worked so hard for.

Additionally, many married men don’t want to deal with the hassle and drama that often comes with splitting up a family and starting anew with another woman.

Finally, many married men may simply be content with their current lives and do not feel the need or desire to change things up.

Is it good to stay in a marriage for your children?

If both parents are happy and in a good place then it’s obviously better for the children to have two happy, stable parents around.

However, if one or both of the parents are miserable in the marriage, it’s not always better for the children to stay in that situation of a bad relationship.

The most important thing is that the children see their parents being supportive and loving towards each other, even if they’re no longer together.

This sends a strong message that even though things might not have worked out romantically, mom and dad still care about each other and will always be there for their kids.

So should you stay in a loveless marriage for kids?if you’re not happy in your marriage and staying for the kids is just prolonging their exposure to an unhappy home life, it might be better to consider leaving.

No one deserves to be miserable.Least of all parents who are supposed to serve as role models for their children.

How do you tell if a married man will leave his wife for you?

You tell if a married man will leave his wife for you If the man is always secretive about his phone and computer usage to his wife.

You can also tell if he would leave his wife for you If he’s constantly making excuses to avoid being around his wife.If he’s becoming more distant from her.

Make Him Leave His Wife For You
Order Your Spell Now. Society wants you to put want they want first, When is it time to put what you want first?
These could all be warning signs that he’s planning on leaving his wife for you.

It’s important to remember that there are many reasons why a man might start pulling away from his wife.So to know, it’s not always an indication that he plans on leaving her.

In my article Signs He Will Leave His Wife for You: The 15 Clues That it Will Happen, I go over a couple of signs to look out for to know if he is ready to leave his wife for you.

How do you make a married man crazy for you?

To make a married man crazy for you include being loving and attentive towards him, being loyal and supportive, being flirtatious and playful, and keeping things exciting and new.Ultimately, the key is to be genuine in your affection for him and to make him feel appreciated, desired, and loved.

In my article How to make a married man fall madly in love with you?, I go over some tips on how to make a married man crazy for you.

Why is it so hard to leave a toxic marriage?

It’s hard to leave a toxic marriage because often people become emotionally and financially dependent on their spouses.Leaving a toxic marriage can be a very difficult and scary thing to do.But it is sometimes necessary in order to find happiness and peace.

If you’re considering leaving your toxic marriage, it’s important to be sure that you have a solid support system in place to help you through the process.

Reach out to trusted friends.Reach out to family members.I encourage you to seek out counseling or therapy to help you through this tough decision.

What to do when he won’t leave his wife?

Who is “he” and what is your relationship to him?If you’re asking this question in regards to a married man that you are involved with.The one who is not willing to leave his wife.Then it is necessary to cast a spell on him to make him leave her.

There are many spells that can do this.It’s best to find a spell that is specifically tailored to your situation.

Once the spell is cast, It will help to change his mind.It will make him see that you’re the one for him.This will help get him to leave his wife and be yours instead.

However, it’s important to note that this kind of thing should only be used as a last resort.You should always consult with an experienced spell caster before proceeding.

Do I need support to change my pattern of staying in bad relationships?

Yes, you need support to change your pattern of staying in bad relationships.Oftentimes, people stay in bad relationships because they are afraid of being alone or they don’t believe that they are worthy of a healthy relationship.

These are very common issues that can be addressed in therapy.

If you’re not sure where to start, I would recommend looking for a therapist who specializes in relationships or codependency.

The main goal of therapy is to help you become aware of the patterns that keep you stuck in unhealthy relationships.It also gives you the tools necessary to make healthy changes.

What makes a man decide to leave his wife?

There are a variety of reasons why a man decides to leave his wife.Some of the most common ones include.

  • Feeling neglected and unimportant
  • Them feeling like they are not good enough for there wife
  • Feeling like they’re not being heard or understood.

In many cases, it’s often the little things that add up over time and make a man feel like he’s no longer valued in his relationship.

When a husband feels like he’s constantly putting all of his effort into the relationship and getting nothing back in return, it can be discouraging and eventually lead to him packing up his bags and leaving.

In my article What makes a man leave his wife for another woman – The Psychology of Infidelity, I explain the psychology of infidelity, beyond merely what a man thinks.

How to leave your wife for another woman?

First, you should carefully consider the consequences of your actions.If you decide to go ahead with it, there are a few things you’ll need to do.

Make His Actions Match His Promises
Order Your Help Now.
Society wants you to put want they want first, When is it time to put what you want first?
Its your effort to make the transition as smooth as possible.

1.Make sure you have a solid plan in place.You’ll need to have a place to stay, money saved up, and a new job lined up.

2.Tell your wife the truth.It’s best for both of you to be honest and upfront about what’s happening.

3.Be prepared for some backlash.Your wife may try to fight for custody of the children.She may try to sue you for divorce settlement money.Be prepared for anything she throws at you and

For a full guide on how to leave your wife for another woman, read my article –How to leave your wife for another woman.In this article i go deep on step by step guide on how to leave your wife for another woman.


There are often a lot of underlying reasons why he can’t leave his wife for you.From feeling obligated to stay in his marriage for the sake of his children to not wanting to deal with the hassle of starting anew, there are many factors that can keep a man from leaving his wife.

If you’re in a relationship with a married man and you’re hoping that he’ll leave his wife for you, it’s important to be patient and understand that there may be a lot of obstacles in your way.

The best thing you can do is try to be supportive and understanding.At the same time also work on yourself so that you can be the best possible partner for him.

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Author: Mama Nkima

Mama Nkima is a marriage counselor and relationship expert who has dedicated her life to helping couples build strong, healthy relationships.  She has academic degrees in Education and Psychology. She has over 40 years of experience helping couples and individuals work through their relationship issues. She draws on her own experiences as a spiritual guide but also from years of research to offer readers practical, actionable advice.

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