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If you’re wondering whether or not a man is using you for money, there are signs that you can look out for.
Often, these signs are pretty easy to spot if you know what to look for. In this blog post, we will discuss the signs that a man is using you for financial gain.
We’ll also provide some tips on how to deal with this situation if it arises. So, if you’re concerned that the man in your life may be taking advantage of you, keep reading!
First lets start by talking about what the signs – that a man is using you for money are then we’ll move onto how to deal with it.
How to tell if a man is using you for convenience?
To truly determine if your man is an opportunist boyfriend and is using you for convenience, you have to examine his actions and words to see if they align.
To be able to do this, you obviously need to know what red flags to look for in order to spot a man who is financially Toxic and using you for your money. Here are some signs that may indicate he’s only interested in your bank account:
1. He showers you with tender love and caring you have never seen before
You know a man is using you for your money if he suddenly stops taking care of you the way he used to not so long ago when you just met and before he started calling in favors.
You know he is a male gold digger if as soon as you don’t give him what he wants financially, his attitude changes dramatically.
He’s always broke and never has any money – yet somehow he always manages to afford nights out, new clothes and weekends away.
2. He refuses to define your relationship.
One of the obvious signs a man is using you for your money is if he refuses to define the relationship. In his mind, if he doesn’t put a label on it then he can do whatever he wants.
Whenever you ask him what you guys are, he always changes the subject or avoids giving you a straight answer. He say things like why do we have to put a label on it, let’s just see where things go. You know what you are to me, thing like that. This is a huge red flag that he’s not interested in commitment and is only using you for convenience.
3. He Makes you feel sorry for him and his current financial situation.
Another sign that a man is using you for your money is if make you feel sorry for him by saying things like he’s going through a tough time financially and could really use your help. Or he may say he doesn’t have enough money to do XYZ so you offer to pay for it.
He may also try to make you feel guilty by saying things like, I work so hard and I can’t even afford to take you out on a proper date. You deserve better than this. Again, these are all signs that he’s not interested in commitment and is only using you for your money.
4. You always have to come to his rescue
If you find yourself always having to bail your man out of financial jams or loans, it’s a sign that he’s not good with money. If he can’t seem to get his act together and is always asking you for money, it’s a red flag that he may be using you for your finances.
5. He always asks you to pay for things
One of the most common signs that a man is using you for money is if he always asks you to pay for things. Whether it’s dates, nights out, or even small things like coffee or groceries. He constantly asks you to foot the bill.
This is especially true if he never offers to pay you back or splits the bill with you. A woman giving a man money to live – that’s not a relationship, it’s a business transaction and leads to unhappy life experience.
A cording to mantelligence 93% of women prefer to be asked out on a date not for them to end up paying for it. If your man always asks you to pay and never offers to split the bill or pay you back, it’s a sign that he’s taking advantage of you financially.
6. He Drop unexpected expenses on you
You know you man is using you for money If your man always asks you for money to cover unexpected expenses, it’s a sign that he’s not good with money. If he’s constantly hitting you up for money to pay his bills or cover emergencies, it’s time to reevaluate the relationship.
Unexpected expenses should be equally split between couples or paid by the person who incurred them. If your man is always asking you to cover his expenses, it’s a sign that he’s not financially responsible.
7. He always talks about your money
Another sign a man is using you for money, If your he is always talking about your money, it’s a sign that he’s interested in what you have financially. He is trying to find out how much money you make or what your financial situation is so that he can take advantage of you.
8. He’s always talking about money
You know your a man is using you for money If your man is always talking about money. it’s a sign that he’s obsessed with it. He may be trying to gauge how much you have and what your financial situation is. This is a red flag that he could be using you for your money.
Men that are using you for money will always have an excuse as to why they can’t do something or go somewhere.
“I would love to come but I can’t because I need to work extra hours” or “I don’t have enough money for gas”. If your man is always making excuses like this, it’s a sign that he’s using you for your money.
9. He has a lot of expensive taste
Another warning sign a man is using you for money is, he always wants to go out to fancy restaurants, take luxurious vacations, and lives an overall lavish lifestyle, but doesn’t have the means to pay for it.
He constantly asks you to finance his lifestyle and takes advantage of your generosity. Healthy relationship is not built on one person always being the sugar daddy or sugar momma.
10. He’s always borrowing money from you
To know If your gold digger boyfriend or man is using you for money, checkout how frequent he is borrowing money from you and if he ever pays back.
If your man’s financial life depends on making you his credit card and never repays you, it’s a definite warning sign that he’s taking advantage of you.
He’s using your money to finance his own lifestyle while leaving you in the financial dust. This is an unhealthy situation for both parties involved.
Some financial red flags can include borrowing money from a new partner, hiding important financial information such as a lot of debt or a clear issue with excessive credit card usage.
11. The conversation is always about them
In a relationship, both parties should be interested in each other’s lives. But if your man only ever talks about himself and is never interested in hearing about your day, it’s a sign that he doesn’t care about you.
He’s only interested in what you can do for him and how you can make his life better. Take note of favors and things he asks you to do for him. Take not of the emotional black mails, “If you loved me, you would do this for me”. These are all signs that he’s using you for your money.
12. He’s always taking and never giving
One of the most important things in a relationship is balance. If your man is always taking and never giving, it’s an unhealthy situation and it is one of the biggest ways to tell if someone is taking advantage of you financially.
He’s not contributing If it feels like he’s always taking and never giving, it’s because he is. Financial Situation is not the only thing to consider, it’s also your time and emotion he’s taking without any consideration.
A man who is using you for money will always find a way to take advantage of you and your generosity.
13. He has a history of not being able to hold down a job
Another signs a man is using a woman is, If your man can’t seem to keep a job for more than a few months, it’s a sign that he may have financial instability or chaotic money management problem.
This is a major red flag that he could be using you for your money.
A man that is using you for money will always have an ulterior motive. He’s not interested in you or your life or being in long-term relationship with you.
If he doesn’t have career ambitions and is content to spend your money without contributing anything, it’s a sign that he’s using you.
14. He always wants to go on vacation but never pays for it
If your man is always talking about going on fancy vacations but never has the money to pay for it, its an obvious signs that he’s probably using you for your money. A man that is interested in you will find a way to make the trip happen.
He’ll either save up his own money or he’ll find a way to finance it that doesn’t involve taking advantage of you. If your man is always asking you to pay for vacations or other expensive outings, it’s a sign that he’s using you for your money.
These are just some signs that may indicate a man is using you for money. If you’re seeing these red flags in your relationship, it’s important to have a discussion with your partner about finances. in the next section we are going to discuss what you should do if you’re in a relationship with a man who is using you for money.
How to deal with a man that uses you for money?
To deal with a man that uses you for money, you should set clear boundaries and expectations about money and what each person’s financial responsibilities are.
If your partner is unwilling to discuss finances or make any changes, it may be time to reconsider the relationship.
Feminine women are attracted to men that are able to provide and take care of them. If your man is using you for money, it’s likely because he knows you’re a generous person and he’s taking advantage of that.
It’s important to be aware of the signs and red flags so you can avoid getting into a relationship with a man who
It’s important to be on the same page about money in a relationship, otherwise, it can lead to resentment and conflict.
Lets see how you can set clear boundaries about money in your relationship:
First, Stop giving him money:
The first and most obvious step is to stop giving him money. If he’s using you for your money, he won’t be happy if you suddenly stop giving it to him. Which is a huge sign that your romantic relationship is a trade.
Don’t let him take advantage of your generosity If you want to continue being generous, set clear boundaries about what you’re willing to do for him.
Let him know that you’re not going to give him money or pay for everything anymore. If he’s not willing to work or contribute financially, he can find someone else who will.
Second, Stop blaming your self, Value your self high
As a relationship coach, I often see women who blame themselves for being in a relationship with a man who’s using them for money.
They often think they are not pretty enough, smart enough, or young enough. And because of that they think they don’t deserve any better.
This is not true! You are worthy of love and respect, no matter what. If a man can’t see your worth, and thinks you have to buy his love, he was not meant to be yours but dont loose both , your man and your money.
I encourage you to work on your self-esteem and start valuing yourself more. One way to do this is to start saying no to things that you don’t want to do or that don’t align with your values.
Follow your values, and realize that you’re always making choices — you should be doing things for you, and not to prove yourself to other people.
You’re worth more than that, and you deserve to be in a healthy, balanced relationship where both partners are contributing equally. If he can’t see that, then he’s not the
Third, you need to be clear about your expectations.
You should sit down with your partner and discuss your financial expectations and needs. If you’re not on the same page about money, it can lead to problems down the road.
It’s important to be honest about your financial situation and what you’re comfortable with. Your goal is not to judge or control your partner’s spending, but to set clear boundaries so that you’re both on the same page.
Ask your self question such as:
- What are you expecting from your partner financially?
- Do you want them to help contribute to bills or expenses?
- Or do you want them to cover their own expenses?
- Are you comfortable with them using your credit card or do you want them to have their own?
These are all important questions to consider when setting financial boundaries in a relationship.
Forth, you need to be clear about your limits.
Once you’ve discussed your expectations, it’s time to set some limits. Limits help to ensure that both partners are comfortable with the financial arrangement and that there is no room for misunderstanding.
Some examples of limits you may want to set include:
- I’m not comfortable lending money to my partner unless it’s an emergency.
- I do not feel comfortable using my credit card to finance my partner’s lifestyle.
- I’m not comfortable with my partner using my money to go on vacation without me.
These are just some examples of limits you may want to set. It’s important to be clear about your limits so that your partner knows what is and isn’t acceptable.
Fifth, Get financial counseling.
Another way to deal with a man that uses you for money, is to find a financial counselor can help you create a budget and develop a plan to get out of debt if he has already put your bank balance into a bad credit situation. It’s important to get your finances in order.
A financial counselor can help you create a budget and develop a plan to get out of debt. This will help you feel more financially secure and less reliant on your partner.
Sixth, Seek out support from friends or family
Seek out support from friends or family members during this tough time. They can offer emotional support and practical advice.
A man using you for your money tend to have a frustrating habit of putting you under emotional blackmail to make you feel guilty for not giving in to his demands.
Therefore to deal with such a man, you need to seek out support from friends or family members.
If you’re noticing any of these red flags in your relationship, it’s important to address the issue sooner rather than later.
Lastly Talk to a therapist
If you’re struggling to deal with a man you love but think he is using you for money, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist. A therapist can help you work through your emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms through your difficult love situations.
As relationship coach, one of the signs I often see in women who are being used for money by their partner is that they tend to blame themselves.
They think that if they were just prettier, funnier, or thinner, their partner wouldn’t need to look elsewhere for validation and financial support.
This kind of thinking is dangerous because it keeps you financial opportunists
Dealing with a man that uses you for money can be difficult, but it’s important to address the
It can be difficult to deal with a man who is using you for your money. But by setting clear boundaries and seeking support from friends or family, you can start to address the issue. If you’re struggling to cope, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist. Remember, you are not alone.
How to tell if a man loves you or is using you
To tell if a man loves you or is using you, you need to pay attention to how he treats you emotionally and financially.
- If he’s always trying to control your emotions or telling you what to do, that’s a red flag.
- A man that is always asking you for money or taking advantage of your financial situation, that’s another red flag.
- He puts on a full court press… to make you like him. You think he’s sweet. And once you’ve fallen for him, he’ll do anything to keep you around.
- He has expensive tastes. A man is dating you for your pecuniary prestige if he consistently proposes you go shopping together, makes continual references about traveling with you or constantly suggests going out to expensive venues.
- He lies about his job.
In my article How to know if a married man loves you? – 25 Signs I list a few signs that will help you know if the man you are with is in love with you or is just using you.
How do you know if he is just using you for money?
To know if your man is using you for money, First, see how he talks about money – does he always talk about having lots of cash or expensive possessions?
If so, it’s possible that he’s trying to impress you with his wealth. Second, see how he treats other people – does he try to take advantage of them financially? If so, then he may be more likely to do the same to you.
Finally, trust your gut instinct – if something feels wrong, it probably is.
Therefore Beware of the man who doesn’t accept responsibility for his lack of funds or poor credit score. Usually, he’ll blame his problems on another woman or a previous spouse.
If you fall for that, the next empty bank account could be yours because this is one of the major signs he’s only dating you for your money. He is an exploiter.
An exploiter is a user, someone who takes advantage of other people or things for their own gain. Being an exploiter is selfish and unethical.
If you’re noticing any of these signs in your partner, it’s important to have a discussion about finances and emotional support.
If your partner is unwilling to talk about the issue, it may be time to consider ending the relationship. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and love. You should never feel like you’re being used for your money.
What are your thoughts? Do you have any experience with a partner that uses you for money? Let us know in the comments below.
Mama Nkima is a marriage counselor and relationship expert who has dedicated her life to helping couples build strong, healthy relationships. She has academic degrees in Education and Psychology. She has over 40 years of experience helping couples and individuals work through their relationship issues.
She draws on her own experiences as a spiritual guide but also from years of research to offer readers practical, actionable advice.