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Why do men have mistresses? Some men say they have mistresses because they’re not getting what they need at home, while others believe that it’s simply a way for them to have some excitement in their lives.
What is the real reason? In this blog post, we will take a look at the truth behind affairs and why men often turn to mistresses for companionship.
This is a hot topic that fuels a lot of debate, the margins at which its tolerated by married women will surprise you. Probably, under social pressure and feminists theories, people are ashamed to admit their nature.
Married women do not want to admit that they are partly to blame when there men stray. Men says the reasons that embarks them to this unconventional love life with mistresses is to fill a void that they aren’t getting from their current wives.
This poses some serious questions.
- Why do men cheat?
- Why do men need mistresses?
Read on because in this blog, we are going to explore the reasons and motivations behind the reasons why men have mistresses.
Why do men need mistresses?
The answer to why do men have mistresses is complicated and it’s different for every man. However, there are some common reasons that often lead men to seek out companionship outside of their marriage. Let’s take a look at a few of these reasons below.
1. A player effect called Coolidge effect
While most men might have legitimate reason for getting into extramarital relations, Other men do it for fun. They love the thrill of the chase and the excitement of sleeping with a new woman. This is often referred to as the “player” effect, or the Coolidge effect.
Coolidge effect is one of the main reasons why men have mistresses. It is a psychological phenomenon that refers to the fact that males exhibit renewed sexual interest whenever a new female is introduced, even after sex with prior but still available sexual partners.
According study conducted by Institute for Family Studies, 90% of men would admit to have been affected by this psychological behavior, but a biggest fraction of this study also admits not to act upon it. The study also shows that 43% of men who have cheated or been unfaithful to their partner were due to the Coolidge effect.
This means that even if a man is happy with his current partner, he may still be attracted to other women because he like that excitement of something or someone new. This can lead him to seek out companionship and sexual encounters outside of his marriage.
This is especially true in long-term relationships where the initial spark and excitement have faded away. As a result, men often turn to mistresses as a way to add some excitement to their boring love life.
2. To fill a void that they aren’t getting from their current partner
Men need mistresses to fill a void that they aren’t getting from their wives. This is a turn on for mistresses. This might be due to a lack of attention, affection, or sexual intimacy. In some cases, men have affairs because they feel like their wives are no longer interested in them.
In other cases, men seek out mistresses because they are not getting the level of physical or emotional intimacy that they desire from their current relationship. This can often lead to feelings of resentment and frustration, which can eventually lead to an affair.
The Institute for Family Studies cites that 20% of men and 13% of women report having sex outside of their marriage. This is often the part for which women are most to blame when it comes to why do men have mistresses.
Both men and women need intimacy, but sometimes wives are so busy with their own lives that they forget to make time for their husbands. As a result, husbands often turn to mistresses as a way to get the attention, affection, and sexual intimacy that they
Most women do not give a fig about pleasing a man – they are too busy living rich, full, educated lives and contributing to society leaving their men exposed to selfish and loveless marriage.
3. Opportunity is there and likelihood of getting caught are slim to none.
Men are dogs – So women say. This has been a saying for a life time and i believe it has passed on for years and years. Men will be men, they will always stray. The opportunity is there and likelihood of getting caught are slim to none.
A study conducted by the CU Boulder graduate student found that 41% of married men have had extramarital affairs. This number has been steadily rising over the years as opportunities for affairs have increased. With social media and dating becoming increasingly ubiquitous.
This means some men don’t really have a reason to cheat and they’re just opportunistic. If they see an opportunity to have an affair, they’re likely to take it.
With these types of affairs, there is no emotional connection, just physical. The man is usually just looking for a quick sexual release and is not interested in anything more.
So In this instance why do men have mistresses? The answer is simple: because they can. And as long as there are opportunities for affairs, there will always be men who take advantage of them.
4. They say its a revenge; more like trying to put things back in balance
People have different ways of dealing issues. While some will talk it out or let time pass, others might look for more…unconventional methods. For some men, having an affair is their way of getting revenge.
This could be in response to their wife cheating on them or because they feel like she’s been neglecting them. In either case, the man is looking to even the score by having an affair himself.
Of course, this isn’t always the healthiest way to deal with problems in a relationship. But for some men, it’s their way of trying to put things back in balance.
Revenge affairs are often short-lived and driven by anger. Once the man feels like he’s gotten even, he’s usually not interested in continuing the affair.
So why do men have mistresses? In this case, it’s a way of getting revenge on their wives or trying to even the score.
5. Fell in love with the mistress
Its not uncommon for a man to jokingly start a relationship with another woman only to find that the thrill of the conquest has worn off and he’s left with someone he actually likes and respects.
This frequently happens when a man is in a sexless or emotionally unfulfilling marriage. He may genuinely love his wife but feel neglected by her. In this case, the mistress may provide the attention, affection, and sexual satisfaction that his wife cannot or will not be able to provide.
A user called Nathan234 at loveshark explains this situation better. He says “At first, I’ve had no intention of falling for her, not even getting to know her. My marriage was good but a little boring, especially in the bedroom.” He futher says “We just started talking more and more and I’ve started to getting to know her and now she’s as important to me as my wife.” He confirms he never planned this, neither did she.
The truth behind Nathan’s affair is he started something which he thought was a fling, from which in fell in love with the mistress without knowing.
This leaves the man in the unenviable position of juggling two women who are usually demanding more than he can give.
The man’s feelings of guilt also increase as he is aware that he is not being fair to either woman.
He may feel that he is letting both women down, and this can cause a great deal of stress.
In some cases, the solution is to end the affair and try to repair things with his wife. In others, he may choose to leave his wife for the mistress.
So why do men have mistresses? In this case, it’s because they’ve fallen in love with the mistress and can no longer deny their feelings for her.
6. Release of stress and frustration
Some men cheat and keep mistresses to release stress. Many men end up living a life of intimate unhappiness due to their uncaring wives. These men often feel neglected and unimportant in their marriages.
The feeling of being trapped in an unhappy marriage can be very stressful. Some men deal with this stress by having an affair or keeping a mistress.
This provides them with an outlet for their pent-up frustrations and allows them to feel more in control of their lives.
Of course, this isn’t a healthy way to deal with stress and can often make things worse in the long run. But for some men, it’s their only way of coping.
So why do men have mistresses? In this case, it’s because they’re looking for an outlet for their stress and frustration.
7. Luck of fantasy fulfillment From his wife
These are sex acts that the wife will not do or the sex that the wife USED TO DO!
Men often have affairs because they are not getting their needs met at home. They may be bored with their sex life or feel like their partner is not meeting their needs.
Affairs can provide an outlet for sexual fantasies that are not being fulfilled at home. Men may also seek out mistresses who are more adventurous than their
FAR TOO MANY wives lose interest in sex! Put it on the back burner and get the “no longer interested” mindset. Mistresses know this very well and will say “I love the idea that I’m their sexual fantasy and get to be the ultimate mistress to them – give them everything they want”
There are many reasons why a man would have a mistress. It could be for sex, companionship, or because he feels neglected by his wife. Whatever the reason may be, it’s clear that there are many benefits to having a mistress if you are one of the men in these situations.
8. Luck of emotional support from his wife
In my consultation i have had many times where the husband says he feels unsupported by his wife. He may feel that she is always busy with work or taking care of the kids and doesn’t have time for him.
This can lead to him feeling unloved and unimportant. A mistress can fill this void in his life and make him feel wanted and appreciated.
One day a woman in extra marital affair told me she often feel like a therapist. She said the level of complaints and interventions her lover make about his life and family is quite high. She is always there to listen to him and make him feel better. In a way, she provides the emotional support that he doesn’t get from his wife.
It’s not just about sex. While sexual satisfaction is one of the reasons why men have mistresses, I think in this case, the husband just needed some attention and appreciation from his wife. .
What is it called when a married man sleeps with another woman?
It is called adultery, Infidelity, Cheating. some people might call it an affair. Others might simply call it cheating. But whatever you call it, one thing is for sure: it’s definitely not a good thing.
While many would justify having an affair by saying that they are not getting enough attention at home, or that their spouse is neglectful, the truth is that affairs are almost always about one thing: ego.
Men who cheat often do so because they feel like they are not getting the attention they deserve. They want to feel important and desired, and they believe that having an affair will make them feel this way.
In reality, affairs almost always end up causing more pain than they are worth. Not only do they hurt the people who are directly involved, but they also often lead to feelings of guilt and shame. And in many cases, they can even ruin marriages.
What does a married man want a mistress for?
Proof of virility. Status symbol. Relieve boredom. Excitement. Variety. Sexual needs not being met by wife. Ego boost.
There are many reasons why do men have mistresses, but at the end of the day, it usually boils down to one thing: ego.
However one thing men wish had told their ex-wives is wedding vows don’t include a vow of abstinence.
Do married men get emotionally attached to their mistresses?
Yes married men often end up getting emotionally attached to their mistresses because Mistress often provides an emotional connection that a wife may not always be able to provide. The man may feel like he can talk to his mistress about things he couldn’t discuss with his wife and this could lead to him feeling increased intimacy with her.
A mistress can provide a sense of excitement that may be lacking in a man’s life, making him feel more alive and virile. If a man feels trapped in his marriage or is no longer attracted to his wife, he may turn to a mistress for the attention and affection he craves.
How one expect a man to just loose such connection with someone he has been seeing for a long time is beyond word? So yes married men really get emotionally attached to their mistresses.
In my article Do married men miss their mistresses? I explored why some men have an affair and why they continue to see their mistress even though they are married. In this article, I want to share the truth about why do men have mistresses.
How women can prevent their men from being unfaithful
There’s no magic answer to preventing your man from being unfaithful, but there are certainly some things you can do to lessen the likelihood. First and foremost, it’s important to nurture a strong and healthy relationship with lots of communication, trust, and respect.
If you’re always nagging or disrespecting your partner, that’s going to create an environment where cheating is more likely to occur. Additionally, try to be understanding and accommodating of your partner’s needs – if they feel like they’re not getting what they need from the relationship emotionally or sexually, that can also lead to straying.
And finally, if you suspect or know that your partner is already cheating on you, confront them about it immediately instead of letting things fester. If you’re able to work through the issue together, there’s a good chance you can salvage the relationship.
Of course, even if you do all of these things, there’s still no guarantee that your partner won’t cheat. But it’s important to remember that at the end of the day, infidelity is always a choice – and it’s one that should never be taken lightly.
There are a few things women can do to prevent their men from being unfaithful.
Try to be more emotionally and physically available for your husband
For a woman to prevent her man from being unfaithful, She needs to work on communication with him and try to work through the issue together. We have seen that one of the main reasons why men have mistresses are intimate void the he lucks from his marriage.
For a man to end up being unfaithful, he usually needs an emotional connection that his wife isn’t providing him. If a woman can be more emotionally available for her husband and provide him with the attention he needs, she may be able to prevent him from straying.
LADIES! If your man is breathing, he still wants sex! Even if YOU are not satisfied with your body, your man wants you naked as much as possible! Even if he doesn’t get it up like he used to, he still thinks about having it with you, tinkering with your woman or TONGUING you.
So in other words, to stop a husband from straying a wife needs to become nothing more than a sex object? No I don’t mean that you should allow your husband to objectify you. However if he can not get the only marital activity that he is socially not allowed to outsource you what do you think he is gonna do? Sit and wait for you? I guess not. On this the ball is in your hands.
Improve your sexual fantasies communication
To avoid your man from getting into any extramarital relations. Work on improving your availability to communications about any sexual fantasies you or your husband might have.
Partners that don’t communicate their sexual fantasies often feel secluded when they should be included if possible.
It’s important to improve sexual fantasies communication because it can help build a stronger relationship with your partner. Fantasies play an important role in our sex lives by helping us explore our desires and fantasies, which can be a fun way to add excitement to our sex lives.
But sharing fantasies with your partner can also be a way to open up and share more about yourself. This type of communication can help you feel closer to your partner, and it can also help build trust between you.
So if you’re looking for a way to improve your sexual relationship and prevent your man from being unfaithful, start by sharing your fantasies with your partner!
Your partner is guaranteed to stay if you fulfill their sexual fantasies
Try to have more sexual appeal and be adventurous
To prevent your man from straying with mistresses, try and spice up your old ways of appealing to his sexual desires.
Bringing more excitement to the bedroom, whether that involves watching X-rated videos with your partner, watching some sexy movies together?
This can help get you both in the mood, and give you some ideas on new positions or fantasies to try out.
You could also plan a weekend away at a romantic hotel. However you decide to do it, just remember that communication is key – talk to your husband about what turns you both on, and make sure you’re both enjoying yourselves!
Don’t be like those wives that would go months without engaging in intimacy with their husbands. Having no sex at all is a deal breaker.
Show public displays of affection
Be risky and exciting and don’t ever be afraid to show public displays of affection. Men like women who lives a carefree life.
if you’re looking to add a little excitement and risk into your relationship, here are a few ideas.
First, unleash your inner wild child and don’t be afraid to show some skin. A little public display of affection can go a long way in getting your man’s blood pumping.
Whether it’s flashing a little cleavage or letting your hand wander during a movie,tery little PDA can make things feel pretty darn exciting.
Another way to add some spice is to try new things together. It could be something as simple as trying a new restaurant or planning an adventurous weekend getaway.
Whatever it is, mixing things up will prevent your man from even a little bit of thinking about getting involved in extra marital affairs.
There are a few benefits to sharing your phone password with your husband. First, it can help avoid any potential disagreement about who gets to see whose phone.
If you have something to hide on your phone, then of course you wouldn’t want to share the password. But if you’re both comfortable with each other and trust each other, sharing the password can help avoid any unnecessary arguments.
Second, sharing your phone password can also be a sign of trust in your relationship. It shows that you’re not afraid of what he might find on your phone and that you trust him enough to give him access to everything.
This can be a big deal in a relationship, especially if there’s been any distrust in the past.
To avoid you man from straying, you need to trust him, engage in regular sex, be exciting and adventurous. Also don’t forget about public displays of affection!
Do you have any other tips to share? Let us know in the comments below!
Mama Nkima is a marriage counselor and relationship expert who has dedicated her life to helping couples build strong, healthy relationships. She has academic degrees in Education and Psychology. She has over 40 years of experience helping couples and individuals work through their relationship issues.
She draws on her own experiences as a spiritual guide but also from years of research to offer readers practical, actionable advice.