Are you sleeping with a married man? You are opting out of this relationship because it causes many worries and misery to you. After all, you are just the one he comes to, someone he quenches his thirst to and nothing more! Who would want to keep up with all these thoughts where you know you are not his priority?Would you ever think of a break up?
You could also want to start your own family. You’re tired of being the other woman. So you have to find ways on how you can end it and become free from the dalliance.
You have to remind yourself that you are essential. In instances when you don’t have full attention from your partner, it could show that you are selling yourself short. It might make you lose your self-esteem believing that you are not worthy of a trusting relationship. You deserve to be in a better relationship where your partner has only you.
So you will have to break this undeserving relationship because you can’t stand that treatment anymore;
End the relationship in person rather than in a text
You need to end this relationship properly to get the satisfaction and perfect results out of it. If you text your lover, he might not take it more seriously than when you meet him physically and tell him what you feel and why you are ending it.
Be clear when ending it.
Once you choose to break up with him, make sure that your language and statements are clear. Don’t tell him vague ideas that will leave him confused. If you are breaking up with him, do it.
Avoid words like “I’ll think about it, let’s see what the future holds” and many others, which will arouse his hopes that someday you’ll come back to him anytime. So make every word clear and mean all that you say.
Please pay attention to his actions rather than his words.
Most affair partners tend to speak more than they act upon their words. Promise after promise, but you never see him fulfill anything. When he tells you he wants to leave his wife, you believe him, but in the real sense, he has never attempted to break free for his primary relationship. Facing these disappointments will be your step to decide between leaving him or staying with him.
- Resist his attempts to get back in touch with you.
Please don’t allow your ex to reenter your life once you have ended your affair with him. He may still try to keep communication with you and try to convince you to stay.
Remind yourself of how unworthy you felt when you were left alone, and he didn’t give you enough attention. At the same time, he was busy attending to his family issues. With this, you will tell yourself that you are breaking free from an unhealthy relationship.
Ensure you decide why you are breaking up with him to refocus on your needs and priorities. It will help you become firm about your desire to end the relationship.
Is it okay for a married man to have female friends, and can he have female friends?
Opposite sex-friends can easily ruin marriage if you don’t take a keen interest in keeping boundaries to keep your wedding and avoid divorce. It’s too risky to stay close to a female friend when you are a married man. It arouses jealousy in your wife and may develop paranoia feelings.
This behavior is shady as it shows signs of disrespect to your spouse. She is the one you are supposed to confide in or talk to whenever you feel you need to speak to someone.
In my opinion, I don’t agree with opposite-sex friendships, and so they should not exist so much in a marriage.
Indeed many opposite-sex companies are likely to be sexual partners, and their relationship is basing on a simmering attraction. One of them keeps their friendship as a potential mate if their current relationship ceases to exist, which is true, especially among men.
Can a married man have female friends?
The answer is yes; a married man can have female friends depending on what you have agreed upon as a couple, that is, if he hasn’t kept the friendship a secret.
Agree on appropriate boundaries.
A married man needs to know that even if he has female friends, he doesn’t have to be close to them to the extent of allocating more time to them that he does for his family. So both of you have to talk it over to which levels the friendships will end.
You can give the benefit of the doubt.
Couples sometimes feel comfortable even when their spouses have female friends because they completely trust each other. You may not have a problem with your husband’s female friends because you know most about them, and you trust him and know he can’t cheat on you.
You can include her in the friendship.
Make your relationship a circle of friends so that your wife meets your female friend, and if she has a spouse, invite the woman’s spouse to dinner and get to know each other. Whenever there is transparency, it makes all parties more comfortable. But still, it’s not a guarantee that he will not cheat with her after all.
So if you are dating a married man and you wish to end it if you didn’t love him you can do it over a text message since it doesn’t hurt that much
How can you break up with a married man over text?
You can work on your breakup with a married man without meeting him or seeing him physically. To avoid any confrontation or feelings of guilt when looking into your eyes while ending his relationship with you. It might be the best thing to do because you could have wasted time with someone who only used you to try and get over his feelings for his ex.
Make sure you are the first to break up with him before he breaks your heart, so you can send him a text and cut off direct physical contact with him. Be straight in your book and tell him exactly what you feel that you are ending this relationship. You don’t wish to see him ever again, ask him for space, and not barge you with phone calls.
How to stop dating a married man?
Being in a relationship with a married man is challenging, and has to decide and pull-out. He could have told you that you are the only woman he loves and only married because of his kids.
The fact that you are not in an actual relationship is just an affair with you. So you have to convince yourself that he is not the man for you and stop dating him.
Here is what to say when you want to call it quits with a married man;
If you have developed feelings of wanting to break up and stop dating the married man. It shouldn’t have gone that far for you to get involved with him and that it was wrong, so now the time has come that you don’t want to be another woman anymore.
You want your own man, not the married one with whom you’re always his second choice after his family. If he was severe and his marriage was over, he could have had a chance with you.
You can mention that you have met someone going to “marry you “and take it more seriously with you. Tell this man you should have never been with him in the first place since you’re his second choice and that you don’t enjoy being in that place anymore. So let him know that you have found a man who is going to give you all that you need and want.
Why are affairs so hard to end?
The significant point here is to ask yourself questions like when did the affair begin? Has it taken almost all your time, and you have invested a lot in it? Do you consider yourself in love with your affair partner, and if you are married, are you planning to leave your spouse?
The most apparent reasons for most affairs are neglect, incompatible sex, and lack of attraction, unmet expectations, and conflicting situations.
The cheating spouse tells the potential lover how unhappy he is in his marriage and needs a cheating partner to ease his pain. So when this affair becomes so deep when the time comes, you feel so connected to each other and comfortable hence finding difficulty in ending it.
It’s not easy to end your affair if it feels so deep and filling. When you think you benefit from it and know each other very well, you believe soulmates and inseparable. You may also start being guilty and worry about hurting your affair partner if you break it off.
How can you get over a married man?
When the affair is over, and you need to move on, but you don’t know how to do it. You might still love him and can’t stop thinking about him. But after all, he is married, and you have to let yourself and start a real life.
First of all, you have to remind yourself of all the lies he has told you, and how you fooled yourself for the years, you have been with him. Think about the future at the moment, this relationship is on doom, and your future is at a standstill.
Time is passing, and you are still unsure who you are going to spend the rest of your life with, so give all this your thoughts so that you make your future brighter.
Figure why you are always lonely. Did your lover spend most of his time with you? If he left you alone and needed him to comfort you when you felt a little down and you realize you have been neglected and don’t want this situation anymore.
Once you realize that you will never take his wife’s place, you are his mistress who is tearing someone’s marriage apart. When you face reality, it will help you get over it and learn to leave without him because he is not your man. He is someone else’s man henceforth the break up.
How is it like to be a side chick?
Most times being a side chick is clear to every girl because she gets involved with a man knowing that he is committed to his family or spouse. She is mainly there to fulfill his desires, nothing much.
Side chicks don’t mind whether a man has someone or not. For them, it’s about having a man who will be there for her and takes care of her needs as well. Most of them are about the material gains associated with having a married man and the fact that no children are involved in that kind of relationship. They get to enjoy whatever he has to offer by herself.
Benefits of being a side chicks
She gets many benefits.
A side chick enjoys all the great things the man does for her as a side chick. Whatever she asks for will be fulfilled much as some of the needs this married man could have never given them to the wife, but he is giving to her. Like taking trips to Dubai, Miami, and so forth, side chicks are mostly beneficial.
She doesn’t have to pay for anything.
He will take care of all her needs and expenses and bills since he doesn’t want her to lack anything; she has to be satisfied to fulfill his desire.
He’s always the one going to her.
Since their relationship is a secret, he will still go to her at her place. She doesn’t have to go chasing for him. He even pays the rent fully, let’s say in a lovely apartment where he won’t have to be ashamed of visiting her.
No worries about the future
Being a side chick means that he has told her about his wife and children. She doesn’t have to worry about where her relationship with him is in terms of the future.
You are aware that your relationship with him is just for fun, whenever he wants to end it, you won’t blame him. So, in other words, a Side chick doesn’t have to be in love with the married man necessarily; she should enjoy it to the fullest while it lasts.
Mama Nkima is a marriage counselor and relationship expert who has dedicated her life to helping couples build strong, healthy relationships. She has academic degrees in Education and Psychology. She has over 40 years of experience helping couples and individuals work through their relationship issues.
She draws on her own experiences as a spiritual guide but also from years of research to offer readers practical, actionable advice.