Does that married man want to sleep with you, or is it all in your head? I’m gonna run you through some signs that a married man wants to sleep with you.
- Why does he want to sleep with you?
- Is there something that you are doing that is making him want to bed you?
- How do you know for sure that a married man wants to sleep with you?
A Man’s true motives are difficult to decipher. Just because he opens doors for you or listens to you may not mean he is hot for you.
There is nothing more embarrassing in heaven or on earth than assuming that a guy likes you in a certain way when you’re wrong. You then go ahead and make your move only to realize you misread it all, and he was just being friendly. I know I have been there.
The Embarrassment of misconstruing a Man’s Kindness
In my teenage years (I was an early bloomer btw), one of my father’s friends, a well-built man who had aged well, used to be extra nice to me.
Hillary was married to a girl half his age. He was forty, and Martha was 20 when they wedded. I was 15 at that time. It was crystal clear that Hillary had a type, young and naïve, it’s what we all thought.
One afternoon, as usual, Hillary invited me for a drink at his favorite bar at the corner of the street where I was raised. He was being exceptionally sweet that day, so much that he even let me drive his Peugeot; not even his wife touched his car, and he always said it was his one true love.
After a few drinks and I was tipsy, I leaned in and kissed him; he was baffled for an instant, then he scolded me. I thought he was leading me on, guess I thought wrong.
I wanted the ground to swallow me. That 5-minute ride back home is the most intense journey I have ever been on in my life.
You needn’t go through such an embarrassment; trust me, you don’t want to. In that case, read on to find out the sure signs and that the married man you are confused about truly wants to sleep with you.
Why you are confused about the Married Man’s Intentions
So, there is that married man who has been giving you mixed signals. He stares, but he also has the ‘don’t come close’ vibe.
Married men, unlike single guys, flirt differently. A married man has to be subtle about his signals because being obvious could land him in serious trouble.
Dating a married man is a taboo, and a wedded man knows it. He is aware that not many women would be comfortable dealing with a married man like himself, so he has to keep his advances minimal.
For a girl, who can’t even decipher obvious hints, how will she sense the subtle and minimal advances? It is normal for any woman to be confused about the meaning of a married man’s advances.
So, how then, do you know for sure that a married man wants you, sexually and all?
Here is a list of dependable signs that a married man has the hots for you from my experience.
6 Dependable Signs that a Married Man wants to sleep with you
1. He talks about sex.
When a married man talks about sex, love, or attraction with you, he usually feels the same for you and that’s a sign that the married man wants to sleep with you. It is usually a desperate try to get you to talk about your opinion of sex.
If a guy knows how you feel about sex, he has a clue on how to get you into his bed. Talking about sex could also get you horny. When you are in the mood for sex, you lose all inhibition and are less likely to turn him down.
Out the heart’s fullness speaks, if he is talking about sex, guess what is in his heart. If this is your case, I don’t have the eloquence to convey how erotic that man’s thoughts of you are.
2. He tries to get you alone
A married man knows he can’t seduce you when you are in a group. He will normally try to isolate you cunningly, obviously. It is always easier to attack lone prey!
At the first job I ever worked, Mr. Derrick, my boss, was such a kind man. He had been married to Beth, the cashier, for like forever.
I had worked for him for 3 weeks when he asked me to switch with Fred to cleaning the back office, his office. Now at face value, there was nothing devious about cleaning the boss’s office, only that it had to be the last room to be cleaned.
For some strange reason, the rule was that everywhere else had to be cleaned before that particular office. This meant that I would be leaving the office last and guess who else left the office late, Mr. Derrick.
He took me after-work drinks and dropped me home within no time, and we became pretty close. Day after by day, he kept pushing the limit, from stares to hugging, and finally, he dared to kiss me.
That is when I realized that I would be entangling with a married man if I didn’t do something. Maybe if he didn’t even plan it all, but what are the odds? Given how quickly things escalated from innocent drinks to kisses in the escalator, I’d say he planned it all along.
One thing I don’t regret, though, is the good times I had. Mr. Derrick was such an easy time. Maybe if situations were different, we would have worked because the chemistry was so thick that it was almost tangible.
3. His body language
Actions speak louder than words, don’t they? A man may lie to you with his tongue but not with his body.
Body language experts have identified different postures and positions that communicate a man’s motives. A married man is still a man, so the same signs that other men do when they want to sleep with you, will the married man do as well.
Look out for these are the most common stances and movements that convey sexual interest in men;
If he is tagging at his sleeves, his tie, or uncomfortably organizing his groin area.
Touching his body, maybe he keeps brushing his thighs and arms, his face, that’s if he could have his way, he would be touching you in the very places he is touching.
He leans in towards you as though he wants to merge right into you. Obviously, that is exactly where his mind is at that moment.
He takes a stance that makes him look taller and stronger. This is so he can look more attractive to you. He wants to attract you because he is already attracted to you.
He licks his lips unconsciously; I don’t mean the creepy one guys do consciously, I mean the ‘I am lost I have no idea that I am licking my lips.’ That’s the one.
He looks at you with that look. The one that makes you feel like he has already undressed you in his mind, the one that makes you smile sheepishly…
The beauty with body language is that the guy has little or no control about it; his body conveys the unfiltered and true message that his lips won’t utter. So you can trust his body.
4. He wants to be too close to you
Have you ever been in a spacious, married man, but he keeps in your space like there is nowhere else he can be? As if he is trying to breathe in your skin.
Maybe that is not your exact experience, but you have had a man be so close like he is trying to crush right into you, isn’t it?
If there weren’t any social norms or any inhibitions, a married man close to you would rather be in you. But this is RL, and in real life, you have to be civilized, so he gets as close as norms and societal dictation will allow him without coming off like a horny pig.
6. He tells you about his horrid sex life
Why does a man have to have to tell any woman how unsatisfying his wife is in bed? Unless he is trying to solicit sympathy and make you want you to prove how much better you are than his wife in bed.
Men like to act dumb, but guys are smart. They know what buttons to push to make a woman feel and do what the guy wanted in the first place.
He knows asking you for BJ would be rude, so he talks to you about how his wife just won’t go down on him or how he would kill for a mind-boggling BJ.
Such information would make the average feel sorry for the man and more willing to make his dreams true, especially since his evil wife won’t.
Suppose he is feeding you stories about how his sex is lackluster or non-existent. In that case, the chances are that he is hoping that if he asks you to bed, which he will, you most likely accept.
7. He buys you suggestive gifts
This is like the distress button a married man will push if you haven’t caught-on on any of the previous signals he sent your way. It doesn’t have to be the traditional thong and lace bra, though if he sent you those then, lady, he is so dying to sleep with you.
I remember during one Christmas holiday, I met a mid-aged man Steve, at a public library. I thought he was a little too old for the library since most of the population frequented there were late teenagers and early twenties. It turns out he was the owner.
I love books and have the bad habit of being picky, so I was spending hours deciding which book to read. After one frustrating afternoon, heaven sent me Steve, who suggested I read Sugar- Danielle Steel. He marketed it so well I couldn’t say no.
And I loved it. So Steve became my book recommender, and after a while, he was stacking up collections specially put together for me. We became good friends and went on a couple of ‘no dates’ dates. It was such a beautiful time for me.
I noticed something, though, the books he suggested kept getting more and more erotic with time. At first, I trashed the idea that he was carefully orchestrating this.
At his suggestion, I read everything erotic; Diana Galdon’s Outlander, Dirty by Megan Hart, Crash by Nicole Williams, Delta of Venus by Anais, The Flowers of Evil by Charles Baudelaire, Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D.H Lawrence, and Inside Madeline by Paula Bomer.
At the end of the holidays, he bought me copies of Shannon McKenna (She is the Queen of erotica) books wrapped in a delicate red wrapping and black lace ribbons.
That is my weakness, red on black lace. It took all the strength in me not to sleep with Steve. If the holidays had gone on a day longer, I would have.
Suppose a married man is buying you vibrators, or plugs, thongs, or anything suggestive for that matter. In that case, he is sending you a direct message that he wants to sleep with you.
Why would a Married Man want to sleep with me?
You may be wondering signs why a married man would want to sleep with you. Is it something you are doing? Is it him, or should we blame his wife for not satisfying her husband?
Men will always be men. A guy’s desire to sleep with you has nothing to do with anything you nor his wife do or do not do. So, why then would a married man want to sleep with another woman?
Here is a list of the most common reasons why a married man would want to sleep with you.
Why does a Married Man want to sleep with you? (Real truth)
1. He is a sex-starved man
Sex is essential for men, women too, but guys need it more. There is no denying that in many marriages, sex is either boring or non-existent.
Some married men may want to sleep with you because they want to have sex. You may argue that if it is just about sex, why me, why not any other girl.
You see, contrary to popular belief, men are not animals, and they have a type. He will not sleep with anyone for sexual gratification. He wants to have sex, but he wants to have sex with you.
2. You fit his description of the perfect sexual fantasy.
We all have sexual fantasies; some of them may be realistically impossible. If someone saw a person who fits their idea of the perfect fantasy, they would obviously want to sleep with them, wouldn’t you?
Suppose he has always fantasized about sleeping with a busty, blue-eyed, bald thick girl. Then he meets busty, blue-eyed, bald thick Ashely. I don’t think you can blame him for wanting bed Ashely, can you?
3. He likes you
I know this is not agreeable, but sometimes, the guy just likes you. Men love to connect with the women they love at all levels.
He wants to connect with you emotionally, intellectually, and even sexually, especially sexually. A man may be happily married and fall for another woman. His marriage has nothing to do with whether he likes another girl or not.
Is he just flirting?
I once met a guy who told me that his hobby was flirting. Strange right? I don’t think he is alone. You would be shocked how many people flirt casually, just for the sake of it.
While one of the signs that a married man wants to sleep with you is that he flirts with you. How do you know he isn’t just flirting as a hobby but rather wants to sleep with you?
Here is a list of signs that a married man is flirting with you for real.
Signs a married man is flirting with you.
1. He will make excuses to be around you
When he is creating an excuse after excuse to be with you, it is a sign that he wants to spend time with you. When a guy is flirting with you with intention, he wants to spend time with you.
If he is coming to your office to pick a document, you could have emailed or something like that, he is flirting with you and seriously.
2. He touches you ‘playfully.’
Normally these touches are non-sexual; maybe he brushes your arm playfully or strokes your cheeks. Sometimes though, especially with frivolous men, he may touch you sensually.
If you are not comfortable with any touches, please don’t keep silent, firmly let the man know that you don’t appreciate being touched in that way.
3. He gives you the look
There is that distinct look that guys give when they are seeking sexual relations. A man who is flirting with you checks you out every now and then.
You might even catch him staring at you. Have you ever caught a guy staring, and instead of him being bashful and looking away, he instead holds the gaze? That is flirting 101.
How to handle a married man flirting with you
You have to tread carefully smartly with a married man hitting on you; he can trash your image. How you handle a married man who flirts with you and wants to sleep with you depends on whether you want anything to do with them or not.
What to do when you want to pursue with the married man flirting with you
When you like a married man, you have one of two options. You could respond to his advances and see where it goes or try to bury your feelings forever if you are bothered by the fact that he is married.
Tips for handling a married man flirting with you when you want nothing to do with them
1. You need to be straightforward about your intentions
Sometimes letting a married man know that you are not interested in his advances works. He may stop bothering you.
Try to respectfully make known to him that you have no interest in pursuing anything with him whatsoever.
2. Focus your attention elsewhere
Some things when you ignore them, they go away. Ignoring any advances from the married man could work.
Focusing your attention elsewhere prevents you from getting offended by his unwelcome advances, so keep busy.
3. Concentrate on his flaws
Just because you don’t want anything to do with the man doesn’t mean you don’t like him; you may simply not like the idea of being with a married man. And that is ok.
To help you in this instance, you can concentrate on his flaws. When you do, the man ceases to be as awesome as you had imagined. This will help you to move on.
4. Cut off all contact
Whether it is physical or radio contact, severing contact will first communicate to the man you are serious about wanting to do with him and help you move on faster if you liked the man.
You may be confused as to why a married man would want to have a child with you. Why would he even want a child with you? Isn’t that what his wife is for? The most common reasons why a married man wants a child with you are;
* His wife can’t or won’t give him a baby.
* You have hinted on wanting to have children, so he wants to make you happy.
* He wants to leave his wife for you. He wouldn’t want to leave for an empty house, so he wants to have a child first, then he will have the incentive to leave.
It depends on your relationship, but the general rule is that you shouldn’t get pregnant for a married man. You see, even though he could, a married man might never leave his wife and family?
Unless you are ok with raising illegitimate children and most probably on your own, then go ahead. Yours might, however, be a different case, and the married man leaves his family.
In that case, you could have babies with him but just get ready for the backlash because, to some people, you will always be the home wrecker.
A married man can care for another woman other than his wife. It is very probable. You see, a man’s affection and care have nothing to do with whether he is married or not.
Listed below are some of the most common signs that a married man cares for you?
* He listens to you.
* The married man removes his ring around you probably because he doesn’t want to remind him that he is married and wants you to like him.
* He remembers the little things like your allergy for pineapples or your favorite shoe brand.
Misconstruing a man’s intentions is a hella embarrassing. Married man motives are not the easiest decipher. So, how can you tell for sure that a married man wants to be more than friends?
Below is a list of the most common signs that a married man likes you more than a friend.
* He’ll straight up tell you.
* He’ll be interested in your dating life. This is so he can gauge his competition.
* He buys you gifts. Men like to spoil the women they like. If he is getting you gifts, he most likely in another way.
* He avoids talking about his personal life because he would rather talk about life with you.
A married man gets back to his wife at the end of the day, so why would he be jealous that Bob took you out to lunch?
A man’s jealousy is no respecter of his marital status. Suppose he thinks you are his even the slightest sense. In that case, his friend, his secretary, his XYZ, seeing another man around you, will spur some jealousy in him.
A married man will never move around with a huge poster that reads I want to sleep with you. If he wants to tangle with you in the sheets, he will most probably go for subtle and less obvious signals.
Your radar needs to be really good to sense his advances. You don’t want to throw yourself at a man who was only being kind.
Lead spell caster at Nkima Spells. College graduate who ended up a witch doctor from the Samalagwe.